Glacier Peak 7/11-14/2024

35 miles 12000 feet

Day 1 North Fork Sauk Trailhead to White Pass Camp 9.5 miles 4600 feet.

I decided to leave a day earlier than my friends that I was tagging along with. I wanted to give myself the best chances of a summit after coming off of a failing summit attempt of Mount Baker a couple weekends before. I took my time packing at the house and drove to the trailhead and was off right at noon. I knew this was going to be a really long day and probably the hardest day, so I came up with a plan of 1 hour and mandatory break. The first 5 miles are a little rolling along the Sauk River and in the trees, I knew that I could keep going and not take breaks but that would hurt me later. I had my InReach and messaged my friend and Ross that I was off, my pack ended up being right about 40 lbs (thank you for the 3lb Big Agnes tent Ross bought). Immediately, my head was “why am I doing this” “I’m not going to make it” “I’m going to end up holding everyone up” my brain sucks sometimes.

I was so bored, haha, I counted to 200 many times, I thought of fruits and vegetables with the ABCs. I really missed Ross! or any companion. The woods are pretty but they’re also never ending, and I saw only 2 other people the entire 5 miles. Eventually I got to Mackinaw Shelter (which is no longer standing), I thought about Ross’s mom and dad stopping here when he was back in the Forest Service working on these trails. I reupped on water from the river and put my pack on and started headed up the 4 miles and 4000 feet of switch backs. My plan here was the same, an hour or a mile or 1000′ and stop, but that was extremely short lived as I was not doing well right out of the gate. It was the heat of the day, I was tired, I didn’t have my cheerleader. I ended up going from one shady spot to the next, these switchbacks were awful. My pace was really pathetic, I even ended up counting to 100 steps and taking a quick break. I pulled out my phone so many times to see where I was, I thought many times about turning around. Eventually the switchbacks mellowed out and I could see what I thought was the top (but it wasn’t really it was the ridge that I would be traversing under). I popped out in a meadowy type of area where there were lots of Chipping Sparrow and my phone heard an Azul Bunting and I saw a Lazuli Bunting and I started feeling better.

It started cooling off as I met paths with the PCT, I also had a through hiker coming down asking where I came from. I followed him for a while and he helped me cross a stream bed where there was still snow to navigate around, I was happy to have the company. I made it to White Pass Camp and got my tent set up right as the sun was starting to go down. The bugs seemed pretty bad, but they went away fairly quickly after sunset and reacted well to the bug spray. I laid down for a long time and finally convinced myself to make some food, which I’m glad I did because it was an awesome freeze-dried Alfredo and chicken thing. I was really disappointed and disheartened by that day, I’m writing this 8 months later and I still am shaking my head, how did I ever think I could climb mountains and volcanoes?

Day 2 White Pass Camp to Base Camp 4.5 miles 2000 feet

I was planning on waking up as I felt like it and reading and enjoying the area while I waited on my group. Nature had a different plan for me, I woke up because I heard and felt this deep guttural noise, it was a Sooty Grouse (or two) that were so close to my tent! What a great way to wake up! Until the sun hit my tent and I was boiling. When I got out of the tent to go to the bathroom, I was immediately swarmed by all the bugs; sweat bees, black flies, mosquitoes. I absolutely hate when people say “oh, they’re not that bad” they’re not that bad for other people but for me they’re heinous. My whole life bugs have been super attracted to me, and I don’t know why, the repellent helped a little with getting bit, but I had to stay in the tent for the most part. My friend had been messaging me via my InReach and I had an idea of where they were, the time to be ready to go was about noon. I went to charge my phone with the new cord I bought at Fred Meyer before I left and realized it was the wrong port charger! UGH, this sent me to tears. All I wanted to do was be able to talk to Ross when I could, I didn’t want to lose that contact. About this time, I had received a message from my friend saying they were about at the top of the switchbacks and a mile out. I calculated some time and thought the fasted would be 20 minutes and the slowest would be an hour and I would start getting ready in ten. I start packing up my tent and I look up towards the trail and see 4 people some wearing pink and yellow and I knew that was my group, but they were so early!! I haul ass packing up all my stuff, I did not want them to have to wait on me whatsoever. I run up the trail as fast as I could to find out it was not them. Omg, as I’m writing this, I sound like such a disaster, and I really was. The Baker experience really took a toll on my mental state, not to mention the last 2-4 years of my life, I could not deal with another failure.

I sat and waited at the trail intersection for another half hour…. Then I saw my people and I cried. I haven’t told them I’m writing about them, so I’ll just use initials I had two of my closest friends SH and AJ and their married couple B and A. I think AJ was happy to see me too, she was getting over a sickness (which happened to be Covid) and didn’t seem to be in a great mood that ended up getting worse as the day went on. SH did tell me that she had a charger that had lots of adapters that I could use, and I felt sooo much better. After 5-10 minutes we were off on the traverse under White Mountain and Marmot Knob, at this point I still had not seen the Volcano we were supposed to climb… I put myself in the back of the group as usual and chatted with B as we meandered around and over snow that was still in the gullies. At about the two-mile mark, we started up a steep incline to the East of Marmot Knob. I thought today was going to be a more just up situation, not the up down up down that we actually did. I kept thinking, this is going to suck on the way back. Glacier Peak finally flashed us as we were coming up to the saddle by Marmot Knob, we stopped for a snack break and for AJ to try and push a knot out of my shoulder.

We started a pretty steep down and then started a pretty steep up. We started walking across more substantial snow fields and got our boots/pants/gaiters on just in case. At one point SH pointed out I was being swarmed by bugs, they wouldn’t leave me alone, but they weren’t biting. I was getting tired and anxious the miles seemed to go so slow, I could tell everyone else was pretty worn out too, they had a 15-mile day at the end. Bringing up the Baker trip again, I really got anxious when we would stop and take breaks because during the guided trip we were held to a 10-minute break. I swear if I wasn’t ready, they didn’t care, they would just move on without whoever and not wait. If they did have to wait you were shunned pretty hard. With my group at Glacier I expressed that I was sorry I was taking so long putting my boots on and I explained why I was having anxiety, they assured me this trip was not that trip. I could still feel A’s worry because she was our acting guide to make sure everyone was safe; I relaxed a little, but I still was aware of my time and didn’t want to be the last one ready. We finally made it to camp, we stopped right underneath high camp, we set our tents up in the snow. AJ lost it here because she was frustrated with the tent, SH just wanted to sit and relax for a bit, I relaxed with her while I waited for the shovel to smooth out my tent area. A helped me with the shoveling and showed me how to anchor my tent, everyone started on food, and I think we all finally chilled out.

At this point I was 50/50 if I was going to stay at camp and not try and summit because I didn’t want to hold anyone back and I was tired. SH and AJ said no way, and A looked at me worried. I knew that I was going to get up and go through the motions of getting ready and make my decision in the morning (I knew that I would try I think I was just prepping everyone for me not going). I always get these thoughts but there wasn’t any way I wasn’t going to go, I think I also wanted the confirmation from everyone they were ok if we had to turn around on my account.

Day 3 Base Camp to Summit to White Pass Camp

3.5 miles 3500 feet to summit, 8.2 miles 1000 feet to White Pass Camp

A came around and “woke” us up about 2:30 AM (I don’t think I slept). We all got up and were in line about 3 AM and started walking. We saw some headlamps heading up the mountain already as we were passing high camp. We headed up to the Glacier Gap saddle and down then started up the ridge along the Suiattle Glacier. A little route-finding here, it was still dark and tough to tell where the best place was to get onto the glacier. We had to hop over some large boulders on the side of the moraine for a bit. Eventually we found a good spot, had a snack and got all our glacier gear going. A split us up into two teams, her and AJ and then SH, me and B in the second group. I was a little worried about this because this is where I failed on Baker, I couldn’t keep up with the pace they set while post holing every other step. Here was better A kept a great pace and the snow was frozen enough that we were walking right on top, great conditions! I also, think SH was a little nervous about the glacier travel so she took her time too. All in all great time traversing the first glacier. Gaia says the way were took is called the “Disappointment Peak Cleaver/Gerdine Ridge Bootpath.” Sure. Disappointment Peak did get me at one point, I said to AJ “as we get closer that looks doable” and she said, “that’s not Glacier Peak.” I laugh now because I knew but in the dark, I felt like we did so much more and were so much closer.

The hardest part of the summit for me was getting to the saddle East of Disappointment peak between the Suiattle and Cool Glacier, it was a straight up wall. I asked SH to stop for a minute breather probably four times. There was a little rock outcrop that we took our break and AJ pooped (I made fun of her in my head but as I did, I felt like I needed to too). Moving past this outcrop we saw our first open crevasse, very small but something to be care of. Traversing on the Cool Glacier we also saw some open crevasses toward the Northeast. I could tell the A was getting a little anxious about the sun warming things up and wanted us to pick up the pace a little. Our next rest stop was the moraine to the South of Glacier Peak, here is where I had to poop, unfortunately. We took our crampons off and were able to stay on the ridge for a bit. There was a nice area to rope up at right before the last steep snow/ice covered pitch. A took it nice and slow and made sure the boot path had good footings, the steps had iced over in the night and were pretty far apart. We were going so slow that I didn’t have an issue at all, and this was probably my favorite part because I knew I was going to make it, and the peak was right there within reach. I cried off and on just knowing that I did it and fuck all the fuckers who told me I couldn’t or even thought it in their head. I think the only place there was a bug free moment was at the summit :).

We spent enough time at the summit to take our pictures and congratulate each other and breathe. The sketchiest part was the wall of ice right off of the summit. A had AJ go first so if AJ slipped, she could react and catch her, AJ tried a couple steps and decided it wasn’t for her. SH, who is the most tentative, mindful of safety ended up leading the way down. I also liked this part because going downhill is easier for me and I have really good balance and footing from my gymnastics career. Plus, we had already summited so target accomplished! We made it back to the ridge and traversed the Cool Glacier, crossed over the open crevasse which was more melted out now. We saw a couple of people in trail runners and yak tracks doing a car to car, good for them, but I could never risk safety for a crown or an FKT. I also want to note we saw lots of people today, some on skis, some individuals, most parties of 2 or 3. It was sunny and clear, just amazing perfect weather. We traversed the Suiattle Glacier with nothing of note, the snow was starting to melt and be slushy which actually helped with the sliding down the hill. Once we got onto the first ridge with the boulder hopping B decided he had to poop, 3 summit day poops!

Here we kind of split up because it was only getting up over the saddle and past high camp back to our camp so we could just go our own pace. I felt like my legs were past the point of being tired and they actually worked better than they did in the morning, either that or we were getting back to a lower elevation and my lungs were working better. Back at camp we decided to take some time to lay down and hopefully nap before headed back to White Pass Camp. My hips were super achy, and I was so worked up about the day that I couldn’t really rest, my brain also wasn’t going to rest until we got back to the first camp. I was the first to get up and just start packing up, I knew I was going to take the longest because it was just me. I didn’t mind waiting over on the snow free area if I had to.

The way back to White Pass Camp was just annoying, we only stopped a couple times to either change shoes or have a snack. The last two miles we just went as fast as we could, it was starting to get dark and the colder. When we got back to camp, we could see that it was pretty busy lower down and we chose to make camp up top, me and the bugs. I had a feeling that my co-worker was down below on his guided climb with Northwest Alpine Guides, but I wasn’t really feeling like going down there. I freaked out here because I couldn’t stand the bugs, they would not leave me alone, I lost my toiletry bag (which ended up being underneath my tent) I cried.

Day 4 White Pass Camp to North Fork Sauk Trailhead 9.4 miles 1000 feet

I tossed and turned all night, I got up early and packed up first and I told everyone I was peacing out. I needed to go on my own time, my mood was deteriorating, and I needed to get to the car. I had this bad feeling the whole trip that I wasn’t carrying any of the extra rope or mountaineering gear at all. I don’t think anyone cared and I did forget that I was carrying all of my own stuff, I didn’t have someone to split the tent with or food things. I could beat myself up about so many things on this trip and I still do. I’ve called it a fluke that I summited and I’m not good enough to actually climb mountains. This is a reminder to me, how someone else’s words can make such an imprint on other people that it sticks with them so much that even though they accomplished a goal they can still think that they’re not good enough. This is leftover trauma from growing up, but words are powerful.

Just in case anyone was wondering the switchbacks sucked on the way down too. I leapfrogged a group of 3 guys, one of which was ski boot guy (he summited in ski boots, but he also wasn’t skiing?). There was also another couple that I saw, but besides that there were a few groups coming up while I was going down. My legs were so toast, everything was achy, I kept sitting down and taking my backpack off for a break, but it hurt so bad standing back up. The last mile was the longest mile ever. I got to the trailhead and hugged my car. The couple that passed me earlier noted that I took an hour longer than they did, thank you for pointing that out? Right then and there I decided I wanted Taco Bell and I drove all the way to Burlington before I stopped.